5/13/2008

Haiku

Giants:

Quick! Grab the Jet-ski!
Run it into that guy's foot!
Multiplayer sucks.


Shining Force:

No, don't promote yet!
Your stats go down when you do
Now your werewolf sucks


Fallout 2:

Hide in those trees there.
Now stab that guy in the groin!
Then the eyes. Repeat.


The World Ends With You:

I can't wear this hat?
What do you mean I'm not brave?
Guess I'll eat ice cream


Harvest Moon:

Bachelors work late nights
But husbands are home by six
Hope you fed that gnome


Rune Factory:

It's a fantasy farm
But mostly just makes Chris mad
'Cause he keeps dying


Smash Brothers Brawl:

Bowser doesn't suck
Do forward B! Forward B!
No really, that's it.


Dungeon Master:

It kills everything?
I just throw clubs at monsters?
Wow, it really does work.


Knights of the Old Republic:

You are teh failzorz
Because you can't stun a droid
AC gets hard-capped


Quiz and Dragons:

How exactly does
Knowing Shaq's role in “Kazam”
Help me beat this imp?


And here is a little supplimental Haiku, by my good friend the Fridge:


Chrono Trigger:

Though you came through time
To thwart an ancient evil
Please fight this T-Rex


Saga Frontier:

Seven Characters
None of which I care about
Lute has no story!


Xenogears:

To play card games well
Mash the X button, unless
You want Bart to scream

I encourage you to leave your own. If the response is favorable enough, I might make it a weekly thing.

5 comments:

Khasai said...

Bioshock

Find hypodermics
Then stick them into your arm
Would you kindly, thanks

Natalie said...

Tribes

When the ground is hard
Tactics and guns are useless
Here, put on these skis

Malgayne said...

Ultima IV

Don't run from Demons!
I swear to God, if you do
THOU HAST LOST AN EIGHTH

Sestren said...

The World Ends With You:


Why is it I need
Rare metals and sweet onions
To buy a burger?

Evidence has shown,
Despite Joshua's fusion,
Beat does more damage.

Reading people's thoughts
Is a fantastic power
A frog!? Hold the phone!

Brian Rubinow said...

On Mass Effect:

This game's hot love scene:
Grossly exaggerated
By so-called "pundits"

Choose male or female
But another space marine
Is still who you play

Drive to that crashed probe
But make sure the thrasher maw
Doesn't rape your face.

On Grand Theft Auto IV

Killing and stealing?
Who needs all that when you can
Go on a hot date?

In America,
The streets are paved with butter.
Driving parts are hard.

Liberty City:
A substitute for New York
But with much less crime

On Advance Wars: Days of Ruin

Landers carry tanks.
Carriers can build airplanes.
This is how war works.

Gritty storyline.
What's this? A blue-haired girl with
Amnesia? Oh well.

CO Powers gone
Replaced with so-called "auras."
Give me Kanbei back.

Hi, I'm the mayor.
I'll thank you for saving us
By being a dick.